Post winter commentary

I am soooo glad that this winter weather is passing and that spring is approaching! I can't stand to be cold,and this winter was just a testament as to why i moved to NC in the first place...winter doesn't last long here, but when it comes...oh boy does it come!

I do have to say however that there are some cons to living in a semi-costal area...when there are nice days (we're talking, 60 degree weather ) people go a little crazy...I'm talking short shorts and tank top crazy. I've just got to say it's not consistently warm enough for that type of behavior, but I digress.

With spring coming up there are a few thing I have to look forward to but the main thing would be my rite of passage!
But there were some good things about this winter and it had a lot to do with my boyfriend...I can't wait to see what spring has to offer for me!

Au revoir winter, bonjour spring!

Decisions, decisions

Lately I've been thinking about my future, and I have some high hopes. I'm hoping to move come July, into MY own space, just me...work couldn't be better and I have no complaints about my personal life.

I've been thinking about my home space, and I'm torn between buying my own house or to continue renting. I have until July to make a decision...and I've been weighing all the pros and cons of both and I do believe I'm leaning towards buying a home. I know it's going to be a lot of work but I really do believe that this is the best decision for me in the long run. And it'll be kind of nice to come home to a place that is really home. A place that I can truly call my own and know I've worked hard to achieve. Plus with my own home, I wouldn't have to worry about cleaning up after anyone but myself.

I don't know I've gotten 2nd, and 3rd opinions and everyone has given me their opinions about how much work it would be and that any problems incurred I would have to take care of on my own. They've given me a lot to think about...But like i said before, I have until July to make a decision.

Wish me luck
Jasmine

We're only 11 days in!

It's been a crazy time for me...from starting a new job, to attempting to move (again) I'm beginning to feel like 2011 is going to be an interesting year.

I just feel like things are starting to get to me, all I seem to do nowadays is get up, go to work, come home and clean up after people...mind you I live with able bodied adults who are perfectly capable of cleaning up after themselves, but don't seem to be doing so. I've even gone as far as to separate dishes and label everything that's mine because my roommates seem to think that everything in the apartment is fair game...IT"S NOT! I don't work 40+ hours a week, spend my hard earned money on groceries (for me) to come home and find that my food has been picked over and devoured as though the entire complex has come over and feasted without giving me notice...I'm tired of doing for everyone else but myself, so I decided that it high time for me to indulge...just a little.

So as one could imagine I've begun the search for a place to live (all by myself) and so far...no luck. The cost of living is EXTREMELY ridiculous, the cheapest place I found STARTED at 550, that's for a 1 bedroom, with absolutely nothing included, now I do make a decent living, but I can't afford that and then to include utilities plus the bills that are currently coming in...I won't be moving for quite a while because I refuse to kill myself working overtime just to sustain my self and not have time for the important things and people in my life, and while we're on the subject...

My love life couldn't be better, I'm in a stable relationship that is progressing quite nicely =) Having someone special in your life is wonderful, and I couldn't ask for a better boyfriend...he's amazing(sigh). It's like everyday he finds new ways to show me how much he cares. I love me some him....but I digress because he's one topic that i could spend all day on and I'm sure that you would be disgusted if I did, not too many people can take the lovey-dovey mushy stuff...

Anywho, life goes on around here and it's moving by fairly quickly...I honestly can't believe that in less than 4 months I'll be celebrating ANOTHER birthday, and I less than 1 month a very special milestone will be celebrated, but more on those upcoming events later...

Hope you enjoy this (very cold) beautiful day
Jasmine

Post summer roundup

It's almost Labor day, which means that the summer is drawing to a close. The summer of 2010 is without a doubt the most memorable summer of my young life.

Reasons why summer 2010 was memorable

1. I moved out of my mom's house, and have my own little quaint hovel that's mine and I love it as much as would a mansion.

2. School has been in the forefront of my life since LAST fall and I'm on the fast-track to graduation

3. I grew a backbone (finally) and voiced all my questions, comments, and opinions on people without worrying about if it hurt their feelings or not=) It was an enlightening experience and quite fun...

4. My personal life has taken a turn I never expected...and I've never been happier=)

5. I adopted a new saying and applied it to my life ' Things are almost perfect...and that's just the way I like it".

This simply means that I know I will never be able to achieve complete perfection, and I won't allow that to stop me from doing my very best to complete each task I'm given, and I'm okay with that. The days of me being this super control freak are over. I'm letting go of the reins and allowing God to steer.

While this summer consisted of many ups and downs I still can appreciate everything that happened because without those experiences, I wouldn't have been able to make the decisions that were necessary to make and live my life according to me. So here's to all the unforgettable memories of summer 2010, and here's to hoping that the remainder of the year provides me with some of the same.

Happy Fall!

Home (Bitter)Sweet Home

I've been at my mother's house for the last few days and I honestly have a new respect for my little place called home in Greensboro. Well let me back track...



I've been away from home for almost 3 years with sporadic visits during my breaks at school. The last time I was home was in March 2009 {S.B} and hadn't been back since. I went to summer school from early June to end of July. I was provided with enough time to relax for about a week and a half before the school year started. my initial plan was to stay in NC and get my new place together...that's not even close to what happened.

After several HARASSING phone calls from my mother, pretty much begging me to come home, I conceded and got on a plane and came back to Lima. I never really wanted to come home for several reasons;
1. With only a week and a half before classes started I felt it was unnecessary and a waste of money
2. I'm not close with anyone in my family, and there wasn't one person I really wanted to see.
3. I've made a life for myself in Greensboro.

Regardless of what I wanted I got on a plane and have been home for the past 9 days. I don't know how I lasted but I did, but the real credit goes to my friends, without them I think I would have lost it...But the silver lining to this story is that I'm going back to that little slice of heaven that I call home in a matter of hours and I can't wait=)

Updates, updates, updates

So its been almost 2 months since my last post and suffice to say A LOT has been happening...

First ~ I FINALLY got my own place=) It's just me for now, but my sister will be moving in shortly. Although I have absolutely NO furniture it['s my home and I did it all by myself.

Second ~ I'm in the process of applying, applying, applying and applying for a job so that I may purchase my own car...but the economy pretty much sucks here right now so I'm having a slight problem...but I shan't give up!

Honestly, that's all that's been happening in my world. Hunting for a job, furniture and a car is had work when u have little to no money=( But I'm working on it. I'm going to my parents house for a few days next week so we'll see what I can come up with...wish me luck!

Until the next post

Jasmine

Keep the faith

That's definitely something I've been having difficulty doing, due to my current housing/financial situation. I'm really ready to have a good paying job so I can get over this hurdle that just won't move out of my way. But every time I get ready to give up I just remember these words a wise woman once told me;

you're supposed to stumble and fall in life, that way when you reach your ultimate goal you appreciate it that much more!

Teenage years= OVER!

Yesterday was my 20th birthday, and I had an absolute blast!

My friends and I started celebrating at 12 am with a dance party that lasted for a few hours, and then we all went to bed(lol). I woke up the next day around 12pm and my boyfriend came to pick me up, so he could make my cake=) I was genuinely touched because not only did he make me a cake, but he also made me chicken parmesan=)

I came back to school to share my birthday cake with my "extended family" and then I chilled out in the room, until it was time to go out.

I went to a local bar called the Pour House with my sister, and her "friend", my suite mate, my boyfriend, and another one of my guy friends and we truly enjoyed ourselves!

My 20th birthday was the best birthday that I have ever had...

Pre Birthday Blues

So it's just a few days before my birthday and I'm miserable! My life has successfully turned into complete and utter chaos. School is over, but I'm in summer school and still working, my parents won't leave me alone and on top of that my personal life keeps taking hit after hit!

I'm honestly to the point of saying forget everything and everyone and spending my birthday in bed, ALONE. Which is how I'll be spending it anyway because no one is going to be available, for the simple fact that my birthday falls on a Tuesday =(

Suffice to say, my 20th birthday is shaping up to pretty much suck!

Let the purge begin...

I swear one of these days I'm just going to let EVERYONE know how I truly feel about them.

I guess all of this is coming from the simple fact that I lost someone close to me over the weekend, and I never got the chance to tell him goodbye, and that I appreciated everything he had ever done for me. Everything is finally coming to a head, I'm feeling so many emotions all at once, but the one that is prominent is loss. I've lost my grandmother, one of my best friends and people that I considered to be part of my "extended" family.

I guess my life has become one of those story of the week deals...you never really know who your friends are until you go through something devastating. And let me tell you that I have lost a number of "friends"in the last few months. I never really realized that I am honestly alone in this world. I have no one that I can truly go to and tell everything that is going on in my world.

I'm kinda tired of dealing with things by myself, I'm always there for other people. It makes me feel like people don't care that I'm going through my own problems...they just want me to drop everything and be there for them when they call...but what about me????? When is it my turn to vent to others and get advice?

Let's just say that I'm over people..I'm about to purge every source in my life,
if I don't feel that you are benefiting my life in any way, shape or form then see ya!

Again with the drama!?

ARGGGGGH!
So that's how I'm feeling at this moment...I am SO SICK of people speaking on subjects they know NOTHING about...namely MY life.

TO ALL MY HATERS

I'm sorry that your life is so sad and boring that you have nothing to better to do than talk shit about me. I know I'm pretty and everything but I really need you to focus on something other than me. Please find something PRODUCTIVE to do. But I do have 1 request...so that we may bypass this whole episode again, please direct all questions, comments, concerns, etc about me to me! You may now return to your miserable little lives...

Jasmine

Updates!

Where to begin...A lot has happened over the past couple of weeks...

3 of my really good friends are expecting children!! Which means I'm planning one baby shower and buying gifts for the other 2. I kinda feel like my biological clock has begun ticking, but that's only because I'm surrounded by the little ones ALL the time. But there will be no little ones coming from me anytime soon...

I'M MOVING!!!!!!! Finally got my own place and I'm uber excited. Can't wait to sign the lease and move in.

GOT A JOB!! So the money will be coming in on a regular :)

Summer is almost here, so I'm about to get the body right and tight and HIT EM WITH THE FLEX! lmao

We now return to your regularly scheduled program

I am sooo glad to be home! Spring break was a complete bust, but things are finally looking up for me=) And it's about time.

I've finally decided what I want to do with my life, and now all I have to do is decide who I want to remain in my life...it's going to be tough, but I gotta do what's best for me.

I' m currently in the process of moving out on my own for the first time. I'm so excited! I FINALLY feel like an actual adult...

School is coming to a close fast, we ony have like 6 weeks left...and then I'll probably take a few weeks off and return to school for summer sessions.

Like I said, I'm gad to be home and now it's time to return to reality.

When willl I ever learn?

Pepole NEVER change. They swear up and down that things will be different this time but they never are. I have got to stop doing tihs to myself. I always get my hopes up and it ends up blowing up in my face. ON TO THE NEXT ONE

No news is...?

Honestly nothing interesting has been going on in my life since my last post. I have just been trying to get back to quintessential me. I have been spending more time with my family and friends. But that's been it.

Hopefully I'll have some interesting things to report soon...but until then I guess this means that no news is good news.

The day from HELL!

Today has been one of those days you NEVER wish to relive!

The day from hell actually began at midnight. I went out with a few of my "extended" family members to celebrate our program going off without a hitch. The club we went to was very...boring. At least to me it was. The DJ wasn't playing a lot of crowd friendly music and it irritated me. But the worst part about was that EVERYONE around me was DrUnK!!!

I didn't have a problem with them drinking, in fact it was quite entertaining. My issue was the fact that I was the only one in the group that wasn't 21! I'll be so glad when May 2011 rolls around=)

Once the festivities were over and everyone was safely home, I went out to get a late night snack and woke up this morning with ExCrUcIaTiNg stomach cramps! I was really freaked out, and decided to go to the doctor. Once there the doctor informed me that I have a stomach virus {a result of my late night feast}. So now I'm stuck indoors for 24 hours on meds and can only have liquids=(

I can only pray that tomorrow will be better than today!

Soul searching

I've been doing some soul-searching for the past few months and I'm still in the same place I was before...

Stuck in a rut!

I'm not too happy about what's going on in my life in any aspect.

School is still school...although I'm not sure if I have the same dreams and aspirations I once had as a child. But I guess that goes along with the territory of growing up and becoming an adult...right?

My personal life is pretty much a non-exsistant blurb. I've decided to take a vow of celibacy until I can approach a relationship like a grown up...I don't want to make the same mistakes I made in the last 2 relationships I've had.

I FINALLY went out after a year of seclusion...and I realized that I wasn't missing anything special. A couple of people I associate with hit the club last Wednesday and Thursday. I had fun being out and about with fun people, but I've decided that I'm so over the club scene. I really don't care to be out in sub-freezing temeratures anyway.

Things with the family aren't getting any better, and I doubt they will...and unfortunately I'm going back to that black hole in a few weeks. Hopefully it will go by extremely fast and I won't ever have to go back.

But other than that I'm still doing my soul searching and hopefully I'll be able to come to definite decision about what's going to happen in my life...

Solosexual

So after a rousing pre-Valentine's day bash, I came "home" and had a very interesting conversation with one of my really good male friends. He and I were discussing why we believe love is for suckers and fools, and why relationships are over-rated ...his words, not mine.

While I'm still a true romantic at heart {sigh} a lot of what he had to say made a lot of sense.
He said that from now on he was going to approach his personal life as that of a 'solosexual'. I asked him what that meant and he simply stated; "I'm not going to have sex with anyone else nor am I going to pleasure myself."

Basically he's going to be celibate, but being a solosexual sounds so much better...as well as being a great conversation starter=), at least until he finds someone with whom he can start an honest WHOLESOME relationship with, and once they decide that they are ready to take the next step they will...

I thought that he had a point. Before we all discovered sex, relationships meant something, faithfulness was never questioned, and people were in love for the sake of being in love. But that isn't the case these days and it's very disheartening.

I've always dreamed of finding my Prince Charming, getting married...the works. But lately my dreams may not come true. I'm starting to doubt that P.C actually exists, and as for the other stuff if it's really on my mind and heart to do it then, there are other "unconventional" ways for me to go about doing so...

But until I make up my mind I have decided to adapt to a new way of life and become a solosexual.

We shall see how this will pan out...

What I HATE the most...

There aren't too many things I hate, for the simple fact that hate is a very strong word...
Dictionary.com describes hate as:
1.to dislike intensely or passionately;
2. feel extreme aversion for or extreme hostility toward;
3.detest:

So like I said hate is a very strong word. But one of the things I absolutely hate is when females aren't woman enough to approach each other. I do not like going through other sources when there is an issue.I do not like hearing that "she said this" or "I heard so and so was talking about you". If you have a problem with me you are more than welcome to approach me and discuss what the issue you have with me is.

There are far too many resources today for people to be able to have mature conversations...
And ladies DO NOT prejudge someone before you get to know them....matter of fact NO ONE SHOULD BE JUDGING ANYONE! I have heard far too many people say "Well I HEARD you said this about me..." Key word people; HEARD. Until you approach the person and ask them if they are talking behind your back you won't know if it's true...until then it's GOSSIP.

Now I'm speaking on behalf of myself when I say I have NO reason to talk about another female behind her back...I was telling you about yourself to your face when you turned around and walked away.

I'm too old to be dealing with this "he said/she said" nonsense. So from now on, I would like any and all people who have an issue with me to come to me so we may address it like the young adults we are.

I am changing...

UGH! This is definately how I've been feeling lately...I'm not sure when I became so unhappy with my life, but I know when I decided to change things...Last Wednesday(1-20-10). I realized that my "boyfriend" doesn't feel as strongly for me as I do for him. I also realized that my feelings for him have been changing for some time now.

I'm totally not in the mood to even talk about it...so I'll just write again when I'm in the mood